Tuesday, December 21, 2010

Madana Maligaiyil

My latest favorite - This song keeps buzzing in my mind every now and then - really the love the nostalgic yoodling.

* Album: Rajapart Rangadurai
* Song: Madhana Maaligayil
* Artists: T M Sounderarajan,P Susheela
* Composer: M S Viswanathan
* Lyricist: Kanadasan

madhana maaLigaiyil manthira maalaigaLaam
udhaya kaalam varai unnadha lilaigaLaam

azhagu maaNikkamaam kattil aNaikka malaraNaiyaam
azhagu maaNikkamaam kattil aNaikka malaraNaiyaam
vaasalil thOraNam unnai varassollum thOzhigaLaam
madhana maaLigaiyil madhana maaLigaiyil
manthira maalaigaLaam manthira maalaigaLaam
udhaya kaalam varai udhaya kaalam varai
unnadha lilaigaLaam unnadha lilaigaLaam
anbae anbae anbae anbae

ahhaa ahhaa...oh ho...
mOgam munnaaga raagam pinnaaga
muzhanggum sanggeethak kuyilgaL
maegam minnaamal idiyum illaamal
mazhaiyil nanaiginRa kiLigaL
dhEgam ponnenRum paadham pUvenRum
thazhuvum sallaaba rasanggaL
vaegam kunRaamal viLakkam sollaamal
virumbum aanantha ragangaL
thalai
idai
kadai
ena
dhinam
varum
sugam

ahhaa ahhaa...oh ho...

pacchai mUkkuththi manjaL neeraadi
padhikkum paNpaattu kavidhai
kachai maelaaga kaniyum noolaadai
kavidhai koNdaadum rasigai
pon maan ippOdhu ammaan un kaiyil
peNmaan ennOdu pazhagu
kaN vaay meyyOdu kanivaay koNdaadi
mudinthaal neeraada vilagu
pudhu
madhu
idhu
idhan
rasam
tharum
sugam

madhana maaLigaiyil madhana maaLigaiyil
manthira maalaigaLaam manthira maalaigaLaam
udhaya kaalam varai udhaya kaalam varai
unnadha lilaigaLaam unnadha lilaigaLaam
anbae anbae anbae anbae

http://www.hummaa.com/music/song/Madhana+Maaligayil/37017#

Monday, October 4, 2010

Verses from Vivekachudamani

Beautiful verses from Vivekachudamani of Adi Shankara
Translation of Swami Madhavananda

Verse 5

वदन्तु शास्त्राणि यज्ञन्तु देवान
कुर्वन्तु कर्माणि भजन्तु देवताः
अत्मैक्यबोधेना विनापि मुक्ति
र्न सिध्यते ब्रह्मशातान्तारेपी

vadantu shAstrANi yagyantu devAn
kurvantu karmANi bhajantu devatAhA
Atmaikyabodhen vinApi
Muktirna sidhyate brahmashatAntarEpi


Let people quote the scriptures and sacrifice to the gods,
Let them perform rituals and worship the dieties,
(Yet) there is no Liberation for anyone without the realization of one's identity with the Atma.
No, not even in the lifetime of a hundred Brahmas* put together.


* Lifetime of a Brahma - is an indefinite length of time. One day of Brahma is equivalent to 432 million human years.

Another Verse:
Verse 26

sarvadA sthApanam buddheha shuddhe brahmANi sarvadA
tat samAdhAna mityuktam na tu chitasya lAlanam


Not** the mere indulgence of thought in curiosity, but the constant concentration of the intellect on the ever pure Brahman is what is called samAdhAna or self-settledness.

** Not the... - That is, not the mere thinking or intellectual or philosophical satisfaction in thinking of or studying the Truth. The intellect must be sought to be resolved into the higher activity of concentration on the Truth

Thursday, September 23, 2010

About Chinna Kannan Azhaikiraan

I don't what is it about this song - every time I hear it, its as if a thrill courses through my nerves - what is it about the music, its delectable notes, about its lyrics, the imagery, Srivedi expressing a pathos which shall pierce the heart of a rock - dunno what it is. Certainly being an illiterate in music, I can't express what it is about the music that affects me so. Hence it was great to come across this article, which explains in some detail what is special about the music composition of this song.

http://www.behindwoods.com/tamil-movie-articles/movies-08/ilayaraja-28-01-09.html

From the wiki article on this film - Kavikkuyil, I came to know that the lyricist of this film is Panchu Arunachalam.

I wish I knew who played the flute - he is as great for this song as the maestros Balamuralikrishna and Illayaraja.

Monday, September 13, 2010

Chinna Kannan Azhaikiran

After a long time, very accidentally found this rare elusive video of one of my most favorite songs - Chinna Kannan Azhaikiran from the film "Kavi Kuyil" (1976)...music composed by the maestro Ilayaraja and sung in a sweet ethereal voice by Balamuralikrishnan...the lyrics are the most touching, i feel they touch my soul - I dont understand them fully, yet I am so fascinated by them!

http://www.dailymotion.com/video/xei5wj_chinna-kannan-azhaikiraan_creation

"Nenjil ulaadhum raagam
Idhu daana kanmani raadha
Un punnagai soladha adhisayamaa
Azhagae Ilamai rathamey
Andha mayana leelayil mayangadhu ulagam"


Somebody please help me understand these lines.

My understanding:

Is this the melody of my heart
Tell me ye apple of my eye.
Ye youthful, beauteous nymph
Even the world is swayed by your charms.

Sunday, September 12, 2010

Some Thoughts

The unreal never existed
The reality never ceases to exist
- The Gita and the Upanishads

The Absolute is about "realizing the unreality of the determinable and reality of the indeterminable"
- From "The Conceptual Framework of Indian Philosophy" by Balbir Singh, Ch2, Pg 31


"Nasato vidyate bhavo
nabhavo vidyate satah"


"The unreal never is,
The reality never ceases to be"
Gita Ch 2, verse 16

Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Why do we get addicted?

Why do we get addicted?

And here I am not talking about any addiction which is primarily due to physiological reasons - like drug abuse, smoking etc, but the mind being addicted to something - thinking in a particular way, being addicted to certain feelings. For e.g. I believe I have an addiction to always being infatuated to some woman or other. Over the past two years especially I have serially been infatuated to one woman after another. It seems to have become a habit - perhaps an unhealthy one.

I think formation of addiction must be quite similar to forming of habits. Addiction in a way connotes any bad habits. So I guess a pertinent question to ask is why and how do we form habits.

Habit formation, I guess, happens so as to become more efficient and skillful in regular activities. Humans would have evolved in this fashion so as to survive and prosper. Even in modern times, once we adopt a particular profession, we quickly become habituated to a certain way of thinking and doing our work.

Sometimes consciously or unconsciously we also get into a mode of thinking, which over a period of time forms neural pathways which makes it all the more easier and spontaneous to fire up those neurons and trigger that thought. Once we start thinking something more often, it becomes more easier to think it, it also becomes more natural to think that way - thats how our opinions are formed, our perspectives are coloured.

But good thing about this is that if you stop thinking a particular way, and start thinking a different way, you can alter the neural pathways and simply change your thinking! Though yeah, its not as simple as it sounds. So, I guess, its possible to change my thinking, and not become infatuated habitually. Let's see if I can implement it in practice. Though I still haven't answered to myself the question - why do I have to stop it? As of now, I don't wish to attempt to answer this question...because its quite complicated. :-)

A time to every purpose

"To everything there is a season
And a time to every purpose under heaven...
...a time to gain, a time to lose
...a time to laugh, a time to weep
...a time to build up, a time to break down"


- words of hope for even one who can't see light at the end of the tunnel and how fitting that it should come from the Bible

Sunday, August 15, 2010

Baare Baare

Come to me, ye fountain of love
Come to me, my shining star
Those welcoming eyes, smiling lips
Can't be forgotten from even afar

The beauty in that shyness
leaves none else on par
Unable to fight off attraction
the heart gives up on this war



Film: Nagara Haavu (1972)
Singer: P.B. Srinivas
Lyrics: Vijaya Narasimha
Music: Vijaya Bhaskar
---------------------------------

Baare Baare Chendada cheluvina taare
Baare Baare Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Kannina sanneya swagata Mareyalaare
Chenduti Melina hoonage Mareyalaare

Andada hennina naachike mareyalaare
Mouna gouriya mohada kai bidalaare

Baree Baare
Chendada cheluvina tare
Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Baare Baare Chendada cheluvina tare
Baare Baare Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Kaibale naadada gunganu alisalaare
Maimana soluva mattanu mareyalaare

Roopasi rambheya sangava toreyalaare
Mouna gowriya mohada kai bidalaare

Baree Baare
Chendada cheluvina tare
Olavina chilumeya dhaare
Sometimes one can't help but wonder, if when the right person comes along, would one know him/her to be "the one" or would we be foolish enough not to recognize this.
Would we be sure whether we really like that person or not and how long would it take to realize this truth. Intuitively, one could say that to know that one likes a person shouldn't take any time at all!

But it was something a friend said that really clicked in my mind with that "Aha!" sound. Her marriage has just recently been fixed and she remarked during our discussion - "yeah, with him, it seemed so easy.." and I cant help but wonder that this must be the answer!

It must be so easy and straightforward (at least about liking the person part, not his/her family, job, location etc) that it would be self evident.
Have become such a hard-core drunkard of this drink called love
That I would require a really hard shot of it to ever get intoxicated again.
Perils of over-indulgence! :-)

Monday, August 9, 2010

Thoongatha vizhigal

Thoongatha vizhigal rendu from Agni Natchathiram (1988)

This is a duet. M is Male voice-over and F is Female voice-over

Thoongatha vizhigal rendu,
un thunai thedum nenjum ondru.
Sempoomanjam virithalum, paneerai thelithalum,
anandam enakedhu anbey nee iladha

F: A pair of sleepless eyes and
One heart that yearns for you,
Even the fresh dew on blossomed lily
Can't bring any joy without you

Mamarai ilai mele, margazhi pani pole
Poomagal madimeedhu naan thoongavo
Rathiri pagalaagu, orupodhu vilagaamal
Rajanai kaiyendhi thalatavo
Naalum naalum raagam thalam
Serum nerum theerum bharam

M: Like the dew drop on a mango leaf
Shall I rest this night on your lap thus?

F: The entire night, till dawn breaks
I will cherish you close to my heart thus

M: My desires have now been raised to such a pitch
The only relief would be lasting union with you

Aalilai sivapaagu angamum nerupaaga
Noolidai kothipperum nilai enavo
Aadhiyum puriyaamal andhamum theriyaamal
Kadhalil arangkerum kadhai alavo

F: Why does the body feel so burning hot
As if some fever courses through every nerve

M: Such is the story of love, we enter it
Heedless of which way our Fate shall swerve

Madhulam kaniyada, malaradu, kodiyadu
Marudham uravaada kalai enavo
Vaalibham thadumaarum orubodhai thalaikerum
Varthaiyil vilangaathu suvailavo
Maelum maelum mogham koodum
Dhaegham yaavum geetham paadum

F: Is it an unstoppable gale, that sweeps away
Everything beautiful with unbridled passion

M: Its that which intoxicates one with youthful ardor
Yet flows out in clear poetical expression

An instrument at its mercy
Thus it makes the body sing
Raising to such feverish pitch
Striking every single string.

Sunday, August 1, 2010

A lady, in her wanderings, came across a seashore on one pleasant night. As she gazed across the sea she could see the lights from ships anchored in the distance. Those flickering lights made her yearn for them. As she restlessly walked on, she picked up pebbles and started tossing them into the sea. It was almost like her way of reaching out to the distant lights, which seemed so close and yet were so far, yet so tempting. How long she threw pebbles into the sea, she knew not, nor she knew how many but late into the night, she was still occupied by this. Somewhere along the way she drifted to sleep and woke up next morning to first ray of dawn, but it seem that all around her things were sparkling. It was as if she was not sleeping on sand, but on a bed of light. She looked around nonplussed and gasped in shock and wonder - all around her, here and there on the sand, were pieces of diamond strewn across the breadth of the beach. They were beside her, close to her, as they were all night long - but its only in the light of day could she see their worth - the diamonds that she took to be pebbles and had tossed into the sea. And when she looked up, to see the ship that had obsessed her, she could not find it into the horizon in any direction. The lady was fortunate to have the benefit of light before she exhausted the beach and her life of all the diamonds that were there. But for most of us the light has to come from within, letting us know the true worth of what we have, the good things that are near to us - which we consider worthless.
I have failed many times in life in all aspects.
But I am happy that it has given me some learnings.
Yes, it has given me bitterness at heart, disillusionment, and cynicism - which may drag me down. But all of this is hugely compensated by having that one realization - that to be truly successful in the long run (and which means truly happy), one has to be a good, kind human being - sincerely care about the people around you and love unconditionally. The greatest gift of God is the gift of love.
I am still way far from putting this into action, from being such a person - but at least realization is the first step.

Friday, July 30, 2010

Just saw this movie "Two Weeks Notice" and I realized that if only I was as filthy rich as Hugh Grant's character in that movie, then I could have the kind of woman I want. I mean - there is some peculiar kind of women, whom I find desirable, but who generally don't find me desirable. I have been trying to analyze what's their peculiarity, but not with much success. Anyways, I am quite sure a bit of wealth and power would do me no harm in gaining interest of a woman of this kind. Of course, there's a quandary (there always is!) - if I were that rich, I would attract all kinds of women and I wouldn't know which is which i.e. which is the right kind of woman. Hmm... all things considered, I think I am better off as I am - at least I know when I really come across the kind of woman I desire. And knowing and having no choice is better than not knowing and having too much choice - at least one doesn't have the opportunity to make a wrong decision. Ah! well - now even that's debatable. I guess, I am confused. God only knows!
Anyways its not as if I have any option and its time to sleep.

Thursday, July 29, 2010

Season of Sunshine

And then the season will pass,
And then the sun will shine again

Then the dark clouds melt away
And then it will be bright again

And then you'll find it, my love
Which that storm had blown away

Luhla laalaah la
Luhla lalaala laaluh la

(For once its not that sun in the skies, but a lady who shines like the sun for me, who made me feel thus - my Moon-faced Sunshine)

Wednesday, July 28, 2010

A lesson learnt in Sales

On Monday evening, I called one of my stockists Mr Suresh, a very demanding person and also what one would classify as a big "whiner". Objective was to convince him to support one scheme and purchase a huge amount of stocks. However he had issues, as usual and as usual he started with the issues of why it was impossible for him to take any stock, how competition was worse, so on and so forth. I heard him out over the phone and then told him that I would meet him personally the next day morning. He was not much positive overall and based on this conversation, neither was I. But being a hard-bitten sales-professional, who has seen as tough scenarios as its possible to see, its never in me to give up without an attempt - I would try just for the heck of it, even if its a hopeless case (I think that's the only reason, I have been successful in sales :P). So today morning, dutifully I went to meet Mr Suresh.

Now there are certain things, which I do instinctively - I don't know why - but which in retrospect actually work to my success. First of all, before he broached the controversial subject, I broached it myself - giving him a chance to complain and vent it out, if not anything else, while I nodded my head neither agreeing with him, but nor wholly disagreeing with him. Where I could agree with him, I make the right noises, where I couldn't I maintain a stony silence, watching him carefully (at present I am viewing my actions as an objective silent viewer).

"So, you told me yesterday, XYZ co is operating a 9+1 scheme in the market. Is that correct?" I opened the topic

"Yes, that's what I heard yesterday through one of my salesmen. You can understand my difficulty. How can I operate in such a scenario."

I shake my head in disbelief, "Sir, how could he manage to do this! Surely he would have got the scheme from somebody" (Aside - I know how XYZ is doing this, in case the information is correct, and where he is getting the scheme from for I arranged the same)

"Sir, market moves very fast. See how quickly he is operating the scheme in the market, while I haven't even received it yet!"

Then Mr Suresh dials a number on phone (that of one of his salesmen) and enquires about this 9+1 offer. He gets some information. Now for me this, in itself is a moment of victory. Mr Suresh takes me quite seriously to ensure that he is sure about his information coz I have put a seed of doubt in his mind by my earlier statement.

After finishing the call, he turns back to me, "Sir, its actually ABC co who is floating the scheme and he has done it with Vanaja Pharmacy"

I relax a bit coz XYZ was more controversial than ABC. ABC is kinda a known enemy and Mr Suresh is slightly on a loose ground whining about ABC to me. I pounce upon the opportunity, in a logical manner.

"Hmm - you could also operate 9+1, if you wish. That's why I am asking you to meet your purchase target."

"Sir, you tell me how 9+1 is possible" he does some mathematics and shows me that the scheme I am promising him works out to 9.33+1, so hence slightly lower scheme than 9+1, which makes it logically difficult for Mr Suresh to float in market and compete. But then I know that he needn't do that with every retailer. But I chose to keep quiet. When two logical people speak to each other, its not imperative to put all the logic onto the table. I use a slightly different tack.

"Sir, we can always give a better scheme to big volume purchasers. That way we ensure better sales turnover"

"But Vanaja Pharmacy is not a big retailer and yet ABC is giving there."

I could see arguing on Vanaja Pharmacy as a potential landmine that could scuttle the entire discussion against my favor, so I try a different sort of appeal.

"Sir, you know very well the support we give to you through our salesman. How can we do that, if we don't have the right scheme with you to get you more orders." (I didnt realize it then, but later on, through one of the statements of Suresh, I am inclined to believe that it was this argument which clinched the argument or rather discussion in my favor)

I continued, "Secondly, next month we are going to have advertisements, which will greatly impact the sales, as you very well know. So whether there is competition or not, you are in great position to easily liquidate the stocks you are purchasing now and also derive higher profit. In fact in entire Bangalore, there are only two stockists, who have done the target and hence can compete with you (a patently false statement, but since he can never ascertain the truth, it doesn't matter - rather its a confidence building measure)"

"Who are the other two"

"ABC is one" pat comes my reply (and this is true :D)

"No wonder he is floating the scheme in market"

I nod my head in agreement

"So we can also do 9+1 in the market"

"You can also do that, no problem. But we can do it selectively for better results"

Mr Suresh sits back and thinks and then he turns the stock statement report back to him to have a look and looks up at me in a moment, with the indication that I can take down his order.

I ask no questions, make no further explanations and ask my colleague to take out the order book to note down the order. The order is taken and Suresh purchases to meet his target.

There is that moment, where I could see clearly that I have convinced him. It is rare in one's life that we could convince another person from a totally opposite view. Sales career gives plenty of such opportunities, in fact necessitates this.
I am not overly proud about my accomplishments. I know people give the regard due to my position - but I also know that I do more than enough to capably fill my position to enable people to give me that regard. I have done enough to earn people's trust.

While I smoothly utter lies - I never fail to meet a commitment given. That is the bedrock of my credibility. Mr Suresh knows that he can trust me, when I tell him that he will liquidate his stocks next month. Whatever other lies I utter doesn't matter in front of this overarching, most important business truth which is required by him. I give him that assurance. Sometimes don't we reassure children who suffer a bad nightmare by some happy scenarios, which are clearly false - but which calms them down, makes them happy, relieves them of their fear. Sales is about being practical, focusing on the essentials and earning people's trust.

This was just an example of what I am practically doing day in day out, with lesser or greater success. But it is uncharacteristic for me, considering what I was a few years back. So much so, that it surprises me, how much people have come to trust me, and how much I can manage to convince people. People just rely me on my word! I think back and realize, its because I have never failed to meet any of my commitments, even during my worse days. I always put my commitment to them, before anything else. At that time I did it just as matter of habit, because I dont like to go back on my word. But in the last 2-3 months, I have realized its worth, its incredible worth!

Monday, July 26, 2010

Pursuit of Happiness

Tired of being in eternal quest
Tired of this unending struggle
Weary of being something, doing something
That doesn't come naturally to me
That isn't me!

In the end, life's biggest lesson,
The age-old lesson, which we all arrive at
sooner or later is to be
the best of what you can be.

That success doesn't come
from following different ways
but from trusting one way
through the easy stretches and the hard days
weathering out the unavoidable delays
Staying put when running would be the option
Waiting for the dawn's golden ray.

That one has to trust one's instinct
and then let go...
- no doubts, no second thoughts,
just allow oneself to go with the flow
To plunge thus into the sea of life
Letting it find us our Destined shore
Accepting with grace wherever it may be
For we all have choice of our way
But then we got to trust our Destiny

But above all, to trust that the Good Lord
In His Wisdom would have Given every creature
high and low, a real fair chance,
that He would have Blessed every nature
with enough strengths and frailties
to suffer and learn, then to grow and succeed,
and reach a stage, that each of them, deserves to reach
basis their efforts, and not their nature
in their own, very personal, Pursuit of Happiness

Sunday, July 25, 2010

We can never imagine
how times would change
the way the world moves
the way people would age

Sunday, July 11, 2010

Tearjerkers

Something just struck me suddenly right now like - Voila!!
I realized what it is that brings tears to my eyes (apart from onions that is) - in short what moves me emotionally.

I know, it doesn't sound much manly - boys don't cry and all that.
But hey, I only get attracted to women and I can't think like one - enough proof to suggest I'm masculine enough. And also I'm a man who has always loved romantic novels (except lately) - so yeah, your truly can cry and is safely man enough. Anyways, I am getting distracted over here. The point is what moves me emotionally...sufficiently enough to bring tears to my eyes - and I realized that its when someone's being just nice, showing goodness of heart, plain ol' selfless spirit, showing courage and high moral values, and loving someone more than oneself.

Yes'day I was watching this movie "Just My Luck" and towards the end both the protagonists are willing to kiss each other to transfer their good luck to the other person - Oh! so romantic, Oh so nice!! I remember the climaxes of "Courage Under Fire" and "Glory" bringing tears to my eyes like no other flicks ever did - by plain depiction of courage, of selfless spirit, of putting others before one, of doing one's duty, an' discharging one's responsibility.

I guess, old and cynical though I have grown to be - very much a sceptic of romantic values - it makes me happy that still, deep down I appreciate them, I admire them. I am happy that I admire, I value the right things even if I may not always live by them. I know I'm dirty, but I know what its to be clean and that cleanliness is better. That leaves at least a small trace of hope to live life with. :-)
Love is nothing but a chemically induced mental condition,
But damn! when it happens - it defies all description!
After an age, most philosophies look foolish,
Hence I would rather not philosophize.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

There used to be an age when love stories were simple and sweet
And now an age has come, when they aren't stories anymore.

Friday, July 9, 2010

The Lord always gives more than we require
He takes care of us in ways we cannot even imagine
He gives us loneliness, so that we can feel closeness with Him.
He is always kind and merciful
Bismillah ir-Rahman ir-Rahim

Thursday, July 8, 2010

Akbar

Many centuries ago, one evening, as moon rose up in the twilight sky,
A king, beleaguered by Fate, held court inside a spacious regal tent,
somewhere in the plains of Northern India.

A fierce gust of wind suddenly blew out all the candles,
plunging the tent into darkness.

As an urgent call spread out to dispel the darkness,
a lady came in with a lamp in hand,
and set about lighting the candles one by one,
dispelling the darkness little by little.

Nimbly she moved to the king's side and then lighted the candle closest to him.
And as the light flickered between them,
for the first time in his life,
Mirza Humayun, Padshah of Hindustan set his eyes upon
the moon-faced Hamida Bano Begum,
even as her heavenly counterpart shined in the skies above in the form of a crescent. And his fate changed forever.

Thus began the story of Jalal-ud-din Muhammad Akbar - the son of these two lovers drawn together by Fate.
Akbar - who went on to become one of the biggest whirlwinds of Indian history.
And it all started just with a gust of wind,
inside a tent, somewhere in the plains of Northern India,
many centuries ago...

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Sun

"Suraj hoon, zindagi ki ramak chhod jaunga
Main doob bhi gaya toh shafak chhod jaunga"


The grand opening lines of title music of the mega-serial "Akbar the Great" telecasted on Doordarshan in the 90s. The title music is rousing and majestic. It truly raises one's spirits - hail Naushad!

The Sun I am, the seeds of life I shall sow
Even as I set, will leave behind an afterglow

Monday, July 5, 2010

Ruswa kyon ho is zindagi se
Kya rooth gaye ho apne aap se
Dilbar dekhon meri nazron se
Koi aur nahi pyaara tumse

Meri ankhon se dekh kar
Aap hi se pyar karne lagoge
Kitni khushi dete ho dekh kar
Tum apna gham bhula baithoge

Itna pyar karoge jaanam
Ki zindagi mein kabhi
Itna pyar na kiya hoga
Tumne apne aap se bhi

Thursday, July 1, 2010

And so things are back to square one!
Oh! so you think there's nothing great about it??
Well, I tell you, when your life is going round in circles,
Square one is the best place to be!
Take my word for it - being in Square One, you would consider yourself fortunate.
At least you know where you stand - SQUARE ONE!

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Song: En Kadhal Solla (Tamil)
Film: Paiya
Music: Yuvan Shankar Raja

Attempting a more poetical translation than the one posted earlier. Its incomplete - finished the first five stanzas.

En kadhal solla neram illai
un kadhal solla thevai illai
nam kadhal solla vaarthai illai
unmai maraithaalum maraiyaadhadi


No right moment to declare my love
No need either for a declaration by you
Words may fail to describe it, yet
It cant be hidden that my love is true

Un kaiyil sera engavillai
un tholil saaya aasaiyillai
nee pona pimbu sogam illai
endru poi solla theriyadhadi


"I yearn not to be with you
I do not need to depend upon you
Leave me, and I wont pine"
Wish I knew how to utter such lies

Un azhagale un azhagale
en veyil kaalam adhu mazhai kaalam
un kanavale un kanavale
manam alaipaayum mella kudai saayum


Ah! such breathtaking beauty
That rains love in my heart desolate
Dreams, Oh such wonderful dreams!
Overwhelm me in waves that wont abate

Kaatrodu kai veesi nee pesinaal
endhan nenjodu puyal veesudhe
vayadhodum manadhodum sollamale
sila ennangal valai veesudhe


kadhal vandhale kannodu dhan
kallathanam vandhu kudi yerumo
konjam nadithenadi konjam thudithenadi
indha vilayaattai rasithenadi


Ye sylph your breezy moves,
play my heart like it was a flute
Body and mind dance to your tunes
Leaving me just a spectator mute

Love has as if unbeknownst to myself
brought some playful mischief to my eyes
I pretended otherwise, tormented myself
Yet found this playful torment to be nice

Un vizhiyaale un vizhiyaale
en vazhi maarum kan thadumaarum
adi idhu yedho oru pudhu yekkam
idhu valithalum nenjam adhai yerkum


One look of you, ye temptress
Changes my course, tempts me like nothing else
What sort of yearning is this
Where the heart aches so much, yet yearns for more!

Oru vaarthai pesamal enai paaradi
undhan nimidangal neelatume
veredhum ninaikaamal vizhi moodadi
endhan nerukangal thodaratume


yaarum paakkamal enai paarkiren
ennai ariyamal unai paarkiren
siru pilaiyena endhan imaigal adhu
unai kandaale gudhikindradhe


Hush! my dear, say no word
Let the moments pass, and silence lengthen
Think of nothing else, just close your eyes
Allow my burning passion to at least touch you

Whenever I am aware of myself, I realize that
I am always gazing at you with longing eyes

En adhigaalai en adhigaalai
un mugam paarthu dhinam yezha vendum
en andhi malai en andhi malai
un madi saiyndhu dhinam vizha vendum


My only wish remains
that everyday my day dawns with your sight
and the evening sets resting on your lap
watching the setting sun.
I am addicted to thinking about her like a chain smoker to cigarette...quite difficult to quit.
I have never been a good student...but the only reason I rue it is coz I don't learn the lessons of love.
Song: En Kadhal Solla (Tamil)
Film: Paiya
Music: Yuvan Shankar Raja

Found the lyrics very meaningful and beautifully expressive. I havent tried to be very poetical with the translation, just focussed on conveying the meaning in right spirit.

En kadhal solla neram illai
un kadhal solla thevai illai
nam kadhal solla vaarthai illai
unmai maraithaalum maraiyaadhadi


Cant find the right moment
To express my love
And I'm so crazy about you
That my love is enough for both of us
Are there any right words
To define this love
I know only this much, try as I may
I can never forget you

Un kaiyil sera engavillai
un tholil saaya aasaiyillai
nee pona pimbu sogam illai
endru poi solla theriyadhadi


No, I am not desperate for you
And I can live without you
Leave if you wish, I shall not suffer
Ah! If only I could lie this easily!

Un azhagale un azhagale
en veyil kaalam adhu mazhai kaalam
un kanavale un kanavale
manam alaipaayum mella kudai saayum


Your sight is like a breeze
that can cool the scorching summer
Your dreams, well up emotions in the heart so much,
that I feel choked.

Kaatrodu kai veesi nee pesinaal
endhan nenjodu puyal veesudhe
vayadhodum manadhodum sollamale
sila ennangal valai veesudhe


kadhal vandhale kannodu dhan
kallathanam vandhu kudi yerumo
konjam nadithenadi konjam thudithenadi
indha vilayaattai rasithenadi


When you prance breezily here and there
Its as if the winds play the flute of my heart
Its as if every part of my body
is beyond my control and dances to your tune

What sort of mischief does this love
play with my mind and heart
I played along, I got tormented too
Yet I cannot deny that I enjoyed every moment of it

Un vizhiyaale un vizhiyaale
en vazhi maarum kan thadumaarum
adi idhu yedho oru pudhu yekkam
idhu valithalum nenjam adhai yerkum


One look of you, ye temptress
Changes my course, tempts me like nothing else
What sort of yearning is this
Where the heart aches so much, yet yearns for more!

Oru vaarthai pesamal enai paaradi
undhan nimidangal neelatume
veredhum ninaikaamal vizhi moodadi
endhan nerukangal thodaratume


yaarum paakkamal enai paarkiren
ennai ariyamal unai paarkiren
siru pilaiyena endhan imaigal adhu
unai kandaale gudhikindradhe


Hush! my dear, say no word
Let the moments pass, and silence lengthen
Think of nothing else, just close your eyes
Allow my burning passion to at least touch you

Whenever I am aware of myself, I realize that
I am always gazing at you with longing eyes

En adhigaalai en adhigaalai
un mugam paarthu dhinam yezha vendum
en andhi malai en andhi malai
un madi saiyndhu dhinam vizha vendum


My only wish remains
that everyday my day dawns with your sight
and the evening sets resting on your lap
watching the setting sun.

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

Distracting muse

She would seem less of my muse and more of a distraction?

But now that the distraction has become the object of concentration
She has become my muse by being my distraction.

Monday, June 28, 2010

"Patience does not mean to passively endure. It means to be farsighted enough to trust the end result of a process.

What does patience mean? It means to look at the thorn and see the rose, to look at the night and see the dawn.

Impatience means to be so shortsighted as to not be able to see the outcome. The lovers of God never run out of patience, for they know that time is needed for the crescent moon to become full."

Elif Shafak, "The Forty Rules of Love"
Praise be to the Lord!
Who builds our character, by Testing our mettle by challenges and Giving us the strength to overcome them.
Alhamdulillah

Sunday, June 27, 2010

Being calm as the center of a whirlpool
Into which rush furious waves from all around

Being receptive as the beach sand, soaked with sea water
Letting the waves of experience wash over

Sometimes white sea shells, sometimes filthy dark mud
Every wave leaves behind its mark
and washes away some sand off the beach
Thus does experience act upon our souls
Peace lies in accepting it all.

Sometimes we run after things
Like a dog pursues its tail
The closer it gets, the farther goes the object
When we desperately run after something
It shies away, even if it be a measly tail

A man who follows his own heart
Confident, secure in knowledge of his own worth
Even the worlds stops to take notice
and follows such a man.
"Fret not where the road will take you. Instead concentrate on the first step. That's the hardest part and that's what you are responsible for. Once you take that step let everything do what it naturally does and the rest will folllow. Do not go with the flow. Be The Flow"
- Elif Shafak, "The Forty Rules of Love"

Hmm... makes me think of how to approach my second book. I'm kind of stuck of in a limbo over here.
Try not to resist the changes that come your way. Instead let life live through you. And do not worry that your life is turning upside down. How do you know that the side you are used to, is better than the one to come?
- Elif Shafak in "The Forty Rules of Love"

My comment - its wise, but its easier said than done, but then again - there's no better option either.
The fire of adolescent passion burned for so long
That when it died out, I found myself in late youth
And suddenly all too old for my liking.

Thursday, June 24, 2010

Confused sentiments

A romantic can shrug off romance,
But what would he do without it?
What would an ox do, even if freed,
when the yoke has been part of its entire life?

Love is a bitter pill at times
A horrible and slow torture by fire
But nothing else gives such ecstasy,
Nothing else makes one feel truly alive

My words come out all twisted
Not expressing what I feel
But then do I know what I really feel!
For never before I've felt so confused

But this much I know for sure
She brings peace to my troubled heart
Yet she also creates a storm
that raises huge waves off a quiescent surface
She robs what she gives
And then gives what she robs

Is wisdom in going forward,
Or is it in letting her come?
Is wisdom in opening up, accepting,
Or is it in being intriguing?
And why this fixation with being wise!
After all, is it wise to be wise,
Or wise to be a fool?
For she makes me look like a fool, even when I act wisely.

Dear Lord! How foolish I am about all this
for I know that she is none the wiser about this than me.

Only one thing I wish to know,
one thing to bring me peace.
Do I confuse her, O Lord?
As much as she confuses me!

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Desperate for some movie to really charge me up. I think I seriously require some heroic movie... any suggestions anyone?

Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Oh! God, Help me!!!

Just a clarification to friends who follow my blog - this is not related to romance.
I am so bored with my job that I am not able to concentrate, even though its a pressure cooker situation.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Saahira

Ek kaafiyah na likh saka
Jo ek waqt mein shayar tha

Ishq ki taaleem di usko
Jo pahuncha huwa aashiq tha

Junoon ka jazbah kya hota hai
Us jaahil ko tab chala pata

Woh bhi ek saahira thi
Jiska deewana yeh Saahir tha

kaafiyah - rhyme
taaleem - lessons
saahira - witch... 'Bewitched' am I ;)
Saahir - yours truly's pen name (for this poem at least :D )and literally means wizard. I like the famous lyricist Sahir Ludhiyanvi.

Monday, June 14, 2010

Zindagi ke darya kinare chalte chalte
Ek majhi mili apni nayya ke saath

Humko dekh woh muskurayi, nayya nikali
Aur hum nikal pade uske saath

Uske mast nigahon mein dub gaye hum
Dil machal gaya jab usne pakda haath

Kis rukh mude, kis dagar taraf chal diye
Pata naha tha ki woh din tha ya raat

Usne kaha "Main Muqaddar hoon tera"
Aur humne bas maanli uski baat

Aage peeche ka koyi hosh nahi
Bas chal rahe hain thaame us naseeb ka haath

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Woh hame yaad karte hai,
toh hum unhe bhula nahi paate

Unka andaaz dekh kar,
unhe nazarandaaz kar nahi paate

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Sadaaqat

Teri ulfat mein main sadqe jaoon
Apni hasti se jyaada, aur kya doon sadqah
Agar mahboob nahi toh sadiq hi maan lo
Aur kya saboot chahiye meri sadaaqat ka


I am dedicated to you, my love
What bigger sacrifice can I give than my life
Give me the space of an intimate friend, if not your lover
What more proof you require of my sincerity

Sunday, June 6, 2010

Commitment

Recently someone, who matters to me, queried me to this effect - "Would you stop valuing someone or something which is important to you, once you have got it?"

Since the "someone" part doesnt apply to my past history, I had only "something" to rely on, in order to decide. The most important "something" achieved so far has been finishing my book. It was one initiative, where I put all my heart and soul into it, even when towards the end, I had no heart left at all. I kept focus over a long period of time - in fact finishing it has been my finest achievement, irrespective of it getting published or not. But now it doesnt figure anywhere on top of the list of my important things. Does this then prove the rhetorical question posed above? The answer, I believe, is not really straightforward.

To answer this question, I have to start from the other end - i.e. the source, the root. And in my case (as also in most other cases, I believe) the source is passion for someone or something. To give an idea, how passion works, imagine passion as a lake - a finite fount of water, from where flows a stream of thought and feelings which drive us in a particular direction. If, one were to be free and relaxed, then the flow of passion acts on its own propelling a person towards its object and passion is always well-directed.

As long as one relies on the flow of the stream, its fine - the involvement in something passionate is one of the most satisfying experiences, believe me! Sometimes, like torrential waterfalls in a rainy season - the flood of thought and feelings could be overwhelming, but then sometimes it can peter down to a thin streak of water. In the latter case, if you are desperate to make things happen, when the flow itself doesnt suffice, then you try to invoke passion. One forces oneself to be passionate and thats when one starts using up that finite fount. Its like pushing water in thousands of gallons out from the lake and trying to create a torrential flow, which is nothing but artificial. One can continue doing this only so much and for so long for soon one would scratching the sand of the lake bed. Something similar happened with my book writing. By the time I finished up with it, I was as tired as Pheidippidis was after running the Marathon and like Pheidippidis, my passion for book-writing died soon after this Marathon.

But as lakes can be replenished by fresh water from rains or from some new source or channel of water feeding into it, similarly passion can be rejuvenated. After all, all it requires is water - the flow of thoughts and feelings in one specific direction. While I am not much inspired to start writing a book, nowadays I do have this occassional strong flow of thoughts and feelings like days of yore - when I am not restful until I write down what I feel or think.

While the analogy seems okay - what does it tell about my character, which, in fact, was what the original question sought to understand. This dependance on an inconsistent passion doesnt flatter me about myself. I admire a guy like Tendulkar who has played the same game since he was 4 years old and professionally for the last 20 years. Would such long-term commitment come without a deep, abiding passion? And yet how can one have such a Pacific Ocean full of passion is mindboggling! I got fizzled out after writing one book and here is this guy, as greedy as ever, even after scoring nearly 30,000 runs at international level!

Tendulkar, also seems to be a person, who is committed to his family and relations - the ideal family man. There could be a relation between these two, which links to the kind of man he is. But would this also mean that someone who is not committed on professional field would be similar on the personal relationships? No, I dont think so...Its because with people, unlike inanimate things - there is whole lot of different dimension called reciprocity involved. Books dont react, people do! And their reactions affect us in ways we can neither understand nor foresee. And though passion may be a starting point - with regards to people, over a period of time there are lot of other parameters like attachment, comfort, compatibility that come into reckoning, which create new channels to fill that fount.

So while our founts of professional and personal passions could be related, but they are entirely different.

To summarize the answer to the original question - firstly I believe that valuing "someone" and valuing "something" are wholly different questions. You can never be attached to an inanimate thing as a book as you can be to a person. People reciprocate, they are unpredictable, they can move you by their show of care and concern - none of which a book or any other "thing" can do. Also passions towards things, depending upon the nature of a person, can fizzle out, while sentiments towards people, once arisen do not die out as easily - they continuouly get augmented by interactions. Have we not faced situations where someone makes us notice them, simply by the attention they shower on us - we may enjoy it or we may even get irritated - but we cannot be indifferent to it. Secondly - whether it be person or thing - when we start forcing ourselves into feeling for something or someone, instead of allowing our nature to prevail, thats when we start killing that passion, attachment or whatever, by drying up that feeding fount.

Friday, June 4, 2010

"Dil jo keh na saka
wahi raaz-e-dil
kehne ki raat" kab aayegi
- yehi sochte hain hum!

Kya woh sahi waqt
kabhi aayega bhi ya nahi
Kya us ghadi mein
woh dabi baatein keh sakege hum

Jab itna kuch hai dil mein
Itne umadte armaan qaid hain yehan
To kya kya jata sakege hum
Kya kya kehna theek hoga
Aur kya hamesha ke liye
chupa le apne seene mein hum

Thursday, June 3, 2010

Dost poochte hai humse
ki kahi ishq ke samundar mein doob toh nahi gaye

Par jab jhulasne lagege tabhi samjhenge ki pyar huwa hai
Abhi toh bas hum jal rahe hai

Tuesday, June 1, 2010

It makes me so happy to see
the happiness on your face
I am lost in another world,
lost in your adoring gaze

Nothing brings me greater cheer, than
listening to your cheerful voice
And that I could be the cause for it
leaves me breathless, bedazed

Pursuit of Happiness

Poochne ke liye hazaar sawaalat hai dil mein
Par jawab seh na paoon, isliye poochtha nahin hoon

The maddening uncertainties are yet a cozy comfort
When compared to the certainty of a harsh reality

Log kahenge ki yeh asliyat na jhel saka
Isliye apni dhun mein deewana ho chala
Par bas do pal ki khushi hi mil jaaye,
Khushiyon se zaroori aur kya hai bhala

So why should I not live in my own world of dreams
If in a dead soul, this can infuse a spirit anew.
And then perhaps there's the slimmest chance
that this happiness faked may turn out to be true.

Monday, May 31, 2010

Sparks and Embers

The sparks of fire by a frenzied friction,
immediate, exciting, ecstatic - but ephemeral

But when those sparks light up the coal
Only gradually does it heaten up
Gradually it envelops one in a comforting warmth
In a bitter, cold winter - a cozy cocoon

The embers of coal, take time to become hot
but once they get flared up, hot and red
their warmth lasts for a very long time
and even many hours later, touch it
and you cannot but feel
the smoldering fire within
which has still not died down.

Sunday, May 23, 2010

Ab hum apne pasand ko kam
aur unke pasand ko jyaada talab karte hain
aur unhe jo ho napasand usse tauba karte hain

Itni chaahat kyon hain dil mein
Unko samajhne ki, aur jaan ne ki?
Darte hain ki hum unhe pyar karte hain.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Candle light

There are times in one's life when nothing simply goes right. Everything that could go wrong goes wrong, and which is practically everything that counts, big or small, trivial or important. I am in that phase of life at present and this is not the first time.

One may always feel, why me? Why not somebody else - there are whole lot of somebodies out there whose fucking lives are so smooth! And here I am! These are times that seem specifically designed to make one go crazy, go bonkers literally!

But somehow I have come to believe that Fate tests only those people who have mettle enough to be tested. There is something in me that just doesn't let go. I bow, but never bow out. Yet I bow, because I don't wish to burn myself out, because the storm which blows away the proud, strong oak, carresses past the thin reed, which bows.

For I know, that I am but a tiny creature in the vast sea of Fate, buffetted here and there by huge waves - I am aware of my tininess, my insignificance, yet I shall not let go the will to survive and the hope of staying afloat.

I was chastised (and rightly so) for recent poor performance by my superior but yet he appreciated my perseverance, resilience and emotional balance in the face of most trying circumstances, and that I never accepted defeat and thats why he values me, sees value in me and trusts me. Such words of appreciation, I have never openly recieved and though the way ahead is still quite dark and no flicker of light in sight, I may just have a small candle with me to give me some warmth on a long, dark journey.

Friday, May 21, 2010

What is love?

Woh pyar hi kya hain
jo hame badalne pe majboor na kare

Woh pyar hi kya hain
jo asaani se mil jaaye

Woh pyar hi kya hain
jo hame kuch dard, kuch aasoon na de

Woh pyar hi kya hain
jo raaton ki neend na uda de

Kyonki pyar woh khushi hain
jo har khushi ko peeche chhod de

Who else but you!

Par tum hi batao, aur kise dosh de,
tumhare siva

Raat ko ghanton tak kis se baat karte hain,
tumhare siva

Uske baad ghanton tak yaad kise karte hain,
tumhare siva

Kaun mann hi mann hame rulata bhi hain, hasata bhi hain,
tumhare siva

Ek pal ko jannat bhi aur
bechaini bhari intezaar bhi banaye kaun,
tumhare siva

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

Zara soch ae sitamgar dilbar
Ki itne door se bhi tujhe
kheenchta hoon main,
Paas na hokar bhi, har lamha
tere paas hoon main.

Soch agar main bas teri
aas paas kahin rahoon,
To kya ho nahi jaoonga
main - tera junoon.

Kaise bach sakogi tum
meri adaaon se,
Kahin isliye to na rehti ho
door meri nigahon se.

Ki uparwaale ne bhi
apni kismat likhi hain,
Tu hi meri kismat hain
yeh mujhko yakeen hain.

Monday, May 17, 2010

I liked this line from Friends - Season 1, Ep 12 - The Dozen Lasagnes

Rachel just had an explosive split with her charming boyfriend Paolo because he had made a pass at Phoebe (why do girls fall for such guys anyways!)

Ross goes to comfort Rachel and embracing her, he tells her, "You deserve so much better than him. You should be with a guy, who knows what he has when he has you"

Sunday, May 16, 2010

Intoxicated

Gulped down a few rounds
Then the wretched head swims
Eyes closed, am oblivious
To the world and its whims

I'm into my own world,
As the head swirls around,
Sucked by a whirlpool,
I am lost and drowned.

Feel like going down and down
I wish for a breather,
Yet I dont resist it,
For it just doesnt matter.

When losing oneself is so easy,
And resisting is so difficult,
then why not just get drowned.
And trash all bother.

But now I can get intoxicated
without even a jot of rum,
For now, she's there to give me the high,
and then make me feel all dumb.

Yet I don't resist the feeling
Though the will is other.
For when losing oneself is so easy,
Then why all this bother.

Kiss from a rose

"There is so much a man can tell you,
so much he can say,
You remain - my power, my pleasure, my pain

To me you are like a growing addiction,
that I can't deny...

I compare you to a kiss from a rose on the grey
the more I get of you, the stranger it feels, yeah"


Nothing I could write today, could express better what I feel than these words from Seal's "Kiss from a rose". My thanks to the lyricist. I also like the chemistry between Val Kilmer and Nicole Kidman in the video of this song.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AMD2TwRvuoU

Saturday, May 15, 2010

Interesting and boring

I know that ...

Just when she starts getting bored by me,
I suddenly become interesting...

And just as I am becoming too interesting,
She starts to get bored.

Its interesting really ... interesting, that I know :-)

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Loving you

Floating on white clouds,
Like being in heaven,
Minstrels crooning a soulful tune
On cloud eleven.

Oooo...the roses are rosier
And the sky is all blue
Oooo...leaves are bright green
Brighter is every hue

Oh! this wretched life
Has been never so kind
If I wasnt so sane,
think I'd be out of my mind

The smooth clear path
The swing in my gait
The whiff of clean air
Oh! my rosiest Fate

Baby, if my life is good
it is because of you.
Never been so happy
before I loved you.

Monday, May 10, 2010

When I was younger,
I was interesting,
but did not possess the confidence to exhibit my intelligence.

Now I have enough confidence,
but I am no longer interesting enough.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

She makes me mad,
Or she makes me ecstatic

And now its been...
So many times mad and
So many times ecstatic

That the boundaries are blurred,
feels one and the same
ecstatically mad or madly ecstatic.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

There is not a soul I would like to talk to, at this moment, but you.
I feel there is so much inside that I wish to share, only with you.
Yet I don't know what it is, that I wish to talk with you.

The street lights are bright and near, as are so many well-meaning good friends.
Yet it is that distant, aloof moon, hidden behind clouds, that holds charm for me.
Who else is that moon for me, but you.
True love is God's will upon us.
If He wills, it shall be reciprocated.
If He doesn't will, then it's not.
But whatever it may be, it is His benediction, His gift to us,
to be accepted by us with all humility and grace.
In matters of heart - listen to the heart - for it shows the true way.
Whatever happens,
This heart is destined to shatter in a thousand pieces
Wish only, that there is then heart enough
To gather the shards and make it up whole again
They would say, "Its back to square one"
But I know things will never remain the same...

These moments rich with pleasure and pain
The wholehearted efforts that go in vain
Being driven to insanity keeps me sane
This is the dream I live in now,
But which shall end, sooner or later
And never come again.
Such an immeasurable loss!
Then how could things be the same...

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Wanting her

I will put all material achievements, assets, money, position aside for her love and regard. I am happy that there is someone at least like this, who makes me feel thus...even if I have little chance of getting what I wish for.

When I dont feel want of anything else, want of her keeps me sane. But then, wanting her too much drives me insane too.

But then I manage myself by living in the present - savoring what she brings for me at this moment - living tonight, as if tommorrow doesnt exist at all.

Passion knows no language but the language of passion itself.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

"You are not hurt Watson? For God's sake, say that you are not hurt!"
It was worth a wound - it was worth many wounds - to know the depth of loyalty and love which lay behind that cold mask. The clear, hard eyes were dimmed for a moment, and the firm lips were shaking...


Probably the most sentimental lines in the entire set of stories featuring the pioneering detective Sherlock Holmes and his loyal aide and friend Dr. John Watson.
It is their rarity that makes these lines precious and every word worth a gem. In the cold, arid desert of Holmes' brainy explorations, they are few spots of oases and even though there are just a couple of date palms and probably a smallish pond there, yet they are that much more worth considering the contrast with a limitless desert.

Personally I enjoy Holmes' stories because of the minutely sketched characterization, of the sparseness of words yet the richness of expression.
There are those occassions in life, that come once in a while, when one single thing, something very very particular can change your life completely, can make you happy, ecstatic beyond imagination - its something you would die for and you would die without. You look forward to it with such fervent hope as you would not even look towards Salvation.

In my life, on such occassions, less than half of the time (which is quite a good proportion)on professional front I have got them. Regarding personal front, in matter of relationships particularly - never, it has been a case of complete failure.

Yet I take solace from the fact that at least there are those moments when someone in particular can make my life - a truly heavenly experience.
We sometimes think our actions are bound by Fate, but its only the outcomes that Fate influences. If we are strong and wise enough, our actions are entirely under our control. A man who acts without worrying about outcomes, without getting distracted or affected by them is a courageous, purposeful man. Fascinating tha...t even today in soul-searching moments, we look back to the age-old truths of the Bhagavad Gita.

There are some important decisions upon which I acted. I considered them as important and once I did that I didnt worry whether I will get the outcome or not, I just went after executing what I planned - the outcomes followed. Those have been the times when I have been most effective and satisfied.

Monday, March 1, 2010

Peed ki aag mein
Mera junoon nikhar jaayega
Har pyaar ko chaka chaund kar de
Aisa heera ubhar aayega

Doston ne aagaah kiya jis se
Bairon ne fayda kiya jis se
Phir bhi khele humne apne anjam se
Deewangi hi to kehte hain ise

Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Attraction dilemma

What does one do with a pretty girl one is attracted to?

Ignore her for she is never going to be attracted to you anyway
But then it would become a self-fulfilling prophecy
and you would always feel that you could have made an attempt

Or the other option is to try and somehow grab her attention....hoping she would notice you, then like you and perhaps things may develop from there.
But then the more you give attention to a girl, the more self-important she feels
the more she takes you for granted and you end up becoming worse than a worthless slave.

So then you do nothing - you neither ignore her, nor go after her.
Then what happens?
Well - here's a scenario
She will put a fresh worm at the end of the line to catch the fish thats u.
Not that she is interested in you, but that she wants you to be interested in her
...Why?? Well, just for the heck of it. Even she doesnt know why...
And then when you are hooked and struggling to break free, she wonders what to do with you, to release you or grab you ...and the game begins again....

Monday, February 8, 2010

An innocent heart

Translated the first stanza

The gaze got inextricably hooked
Couldn't cut through silken chains
Age has grayed every strand of hair
Yet not mellowed this youthful craze

Heartbeat rises unchecked,
Bringing colour to lifeless cheeks
Yet trepid in being alone
Is this innocent heart.

A little bit fragile
Is this innocent heart.


Song Name: Dil To Bachcha Hai
Film/Album: Ishqiya
Singer(s): Rahat Fateh Ali Khan
Music Director: Vishal Bhardwaj
Lyricist: Gulzar
Picturised on: Naseruddin Shah, Arshad Warsi, Vidya Balan
Length: 5:35

Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi

Walla ye dhadkan bhadne lagi hai
Chehre ki rangat udne lagi hai
Darr lagta hai tanha sone mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji
Aisi ulji nazar unse hatt ti nahi
Daant se reshmi dor katt ti nahi
Umar kab ki baras ke safaid ho gayi
Kaari badari jawani ki chatt ti nahi
Ra ra ra ..

Kisko ptaa tha pehlu mein rakha
Dil aisa paaji bhi hoga
Hum to hamesha samajhte the koi
Hum jaisa haaji hi hoga

Hai zor karein, kitna shor karein
Bewaja baatein pe ainwe gaur karein
Dilsa koi kameena nahi
Koi to rokey, koi to tokey
Iss umar mein ab khaogey dhokhe
Darr lagta hai ishq karne mein ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Dil to bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil to baccha hai ji
http://www.top10bollywood.com/

Aisi udhaasi baithi hai dil pe
Hassne se ghabra rahe hain
Saari jawani katra ke kaati
Piri mein takra gaye hain
Dil dhadakta hai to aise lagta hai woh
Aa raha hai yahin dekhta hi na woh
Prem ki maarein kataar re
Taubah ye lamhe katt te nahi kyun
Aankhein se meri hatt te nahi kyun
Darr lagta hai mujhse kehne mein ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Dil toh bachcha hai ji
Thoda kaccha hai ji
Haan dil toh baccha hai ji

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Two other thoughts came to mind

Maturity - the sense and stomach to bear the worst of something, for e.g. love, emotions etc and yet not turn away from that ... rather, to still be able to appreciate, enjoy its finer qualities and also to bear oneself with dignity and grace, even when provoked.

and

Wish a man could see the folly of his deeds before he commits them.
Composed two different couplets today ... so posting them together

Woh ek alfaaz kehti hain
To hum ek afsaana likthe hain
Woh ek jhalak jo dikhade
To hum sijdah hote hain

and

Hum tumhe apne aaghosh mein
Aise sama le
Ki na tum tum raho
Na hum hum rahe

Tuesday, January 26, 2010

Alam bekhudi ka is kadar chaaya
Ki humpar hamara ikhtiyar na raha

Unse ruswa hokar bhi na muh mod paaye
Ki yeh farebi dil ab hamara na raha

Thursday, January 14, 2010

An unfulfilled longing

So enchanting was your sight, that
My self was simply pulled away from me.

Such effulgence that I had to bow,
Paying my token of love did I kneel.

I worshipped you with such fervor,
Your divinity - even the world had to see.

So much have I now longed for you,
Tears of blood have filled the sea.

I pray for your eternal happiness,
This world of shattered dreams is not for me

Let not your sight rekindle my hopes,
Hence I slip away without taking your leave.


Movie Name: Bazaar (1982)
Singer: Lata Mangeshkar
Music Director: Khaiyaam
Lyrics: Mir Taqi Mir

Dikhayi Diye Yoon Ke Bekhudh Kiya
Humein Aapse Bhi Judaa Kar Chale

Jabhi Sajda Karte Hi karte Gayi -2
Haq-E-Bandigi Hum Adaa Kar Chale

Dikhayi Diye Yoon.....

Parastish Kiya Tak Ke Aye But Tujhe -2
Nazar Mein Sabonki Khuda Kar Gaye

Dikhayi Diye Yoon.....

Bahut Arzoo Thi Gali Ki Teri -2
So Ya Se Lahoo Mein Naha Kar Chale

Dikhayi Diye Yoon.....

Fakirana Ae Sada Kar Chale
Miya Khush Raho Hum Dua Kar Chale

Jo Tujh Bin Na Jeene Ka Kehte Hum
So Us Ahad Ko Ab Wafa Kar Chale

Koi Na Umeed Na Karte Nigahen
So Tum Humse Munh Bhi Chhupa Kar Chale