Candle light

There are times in one's life when nothing simply goes right. Everything that could go wrong goes wrong, and which is practically everything that counts, big or small, trivial or important. I am in that phase of life at present and this is not the first time.

One may always feel, why me? Why not somebody else - there are whole lot of somebodies out there whose fucking lives are so smooth! And here I am! These are times that seem specifically designed to make one go crazy, go bonkers literally!

But somehow I have come to believe that Fate tests only those people who have mettle enough to be tested. There is something in me that just doesn't let go. I bow, but never bow out. Yet I bow, because I don't wish to burn myself out, because the storm which blows away the proud, strong oak, carresses past the thin reed, which bows.

For I know, that I am but a tiny creature in the vast sea of Fate, buffetted here and there by huge waves - I am aware of my tininess, my insignificance, yet I shall not let go the will to survive and the hope of staying afloat.

I was chastised (and rightly so) for recent poor performance by my superior but yet he appreciated my perseverance, resilience and emotional balance in the face of most trying circumstances, and that I never accepted defeat and thats why he values me, sees value in me and trusts me. Such words of appreciation, I have never openly recieved and though the way ahead is still quite dark and no flicker of light in sight, I may just have a small candle with me to give me some warmth on a long, dark journey.