What is Love...Baby dont hurt me

Theories abound regarding the most mysterious yet coveted ailment that human emotions produce off and on - Love.

What gives rise to it? What it is? How is it identified? What does it lead to? and so on...endless questions and ...yes, endless answers. And what answers!!..contrarian views, fierce disputes...no comprehension

Lets take one question and probably the starting point for all others - How does one know that one is in Love??

Literature on love abounds with tales of love at first sight or at least attraction at first sight. Whats the strength of this particular notion...well its just that we do not get attracted to just about anybody...at least women dont.

So if a lady is attracted to you, it means that you are special to her and you can as well make her someone special for yourself.
Nonsense?? Ah, if nothing else...its just a good thumb-rule, but is it something more??

Then there are some who scoff at this attraction theory. There are even studies conducted which say that this attraction has a lifetime like...er...a lifetime free credit card..hmm :) . It incidentally happens to be three years, which is generally the life of a lifetime free credit card...hmm, have credit card companies hit upon something we dont know yet?? Got to think about it.

Anywys, so these ppl..I mean, those who scoff at the attraction theory believe that you got to be really comfortable with the other person. Like, you know ..you have a date at a CCD* one fine afternoon, you just meet outside the joint, smile spontaneously, then breeze in together not at all aware of the curious eyes upon you, still talking to each other you just plonk yourself in any available space...still chatting...15 min, no waiter has come (CCDs are good that way)..still chatting...15 min later waiter hands the menu, still chatting...half an hour later, waiter shows a surly face...ah 2 caffe latte pls, waiter smiles, you dont notice that, still chatting....over another 3 hrs and 2 iced teas later, still chatting...only when ur asses begin to hurt sitting in the same position...or looking at the waiter's hurt face calculating his ROI** of (2 caffe latte + 2 iced teas)/ 4 hrs ...you realise that you should probably make a move ...to the next CCD, or maybe go to a flop movie...so u can er ...'chat' further

Somebody had once exhorted me to be concise...so concisely put the above para is all about comfort. Comfort meaning??...arre baba Comfort vis-a-vis Attraction. You know - rapport, gelling well (thats pretty suggestive), chummy buddy and all that...first you are a good friend and then, only then...you are something more. Of course these days one need not go to CCDs and negatively affect their ROI for discovering a comfortable relationship. With Gtalk, and Yahoo Msgr, you can go online and waste countless hours of somebody's time, allow them to waste yours and hola!! if you dont consider that a waste of time - you are in a comfortable relationship..HOLA..Dance

But then there are some who scoff at this too - 'online dating is not online mating'.
Comfort - what an absurd notion...making love is either too uncomfortable or so pleasurable that words like comfort etc. are superfluous...this would be the opinion of the Attraction theorists who would like to believe in the biological origin of these urges....or those who scoff at both these theories and any others for that matter.

So neither comfort, nor attraction can define it.
Is it then when both happen together??
Well, you may want to waste your time reading that theory, I dont want to waste mine writing about it :|

Now I come to the really serious part...PAY ATTENTION!!!
This is real serious, I bet. The answer is pretty straightforward.

Are you in love?? ... You would know that... when you are in love!!

Hows that for being concise!!!

Well u may wish to burn ur laptop/computer or probably pull a tuft of your hair as evidence of your frustration or better still burn my laptop...though that may only cause you more frustration...bcos u cannot burn my laptop

Yes I agree this may seem like...that response, the Greatest Computer Mother or Mother Computer in the Universe in that forsaken planet of Magarthea gave when asked what is the Ultimate Answer to everything and She, It - whatever replied - '42'

Well, hold on to ur tomatoes yet...there's something important to learn here...for she said that if u want the Ultimate Answer, you got to ask the Ultimate Question ...Fair enough!!!
(Where did this all come from - check out the "Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy" its a far more popular book than the "Encyclopaedia Galactica". Why? Coz it says on its cover in bold letters 'DONT PANIC')

So come back with your Ultimate Question and not stuff like - What is Love?...Baby, you'll get hurt if you ask that

* CCD: Cafe Coffee Day - they apparently sell various kinds of coffee, tea and snacks
**ROI: Return on Investment - a term most abused by MBA types

Why these contrived manufactured references you may ask - Well, just wanted to give an academic feel to all this. I have heard academics can get away spouting any shit and save a lot of tomatoes too...I like saving poor red little things.