Why do we get addicted?

Why do we get addicted?

And here I am not talking about any addiction which is primarily due to physiological reasons - like drug abuse, smoking etc, but the mind being addicted to something - thinking in a particular way, being addicted to certain feelings. For e.g. I believe I have an addiction to always being infatuated to some woman or other. Over the past two years especially I have serially been infatuated to one woman after another. It seems to have become a habit - perhaps an unhealthy one.

I think formation of addiction must be quite similar to forming of habits. Addiction in a way connotes any bad habits. So I guess a pertinent question to ask is why and how do we form habits.

Habit formation, I guess, happens so as to become more efficient and skillful in regular activities. Humans would have evolved in this fashion so as to survive and prosper. Even in modern times, once we adopt a particular profession, we quickly become habituated to a certain way of thinking and doing our work.

Sometimes consciously or unconsciously we also get into a mode of thinking, which over a period of time forms neural pathways which makes it all the more easier and spontaneous to fire up those neurons and trigger that thought. Once we start thinking something more often, it becomes more easier to think it, it also becomes more natural to think that way - thats how our opinions are formed, our perspectives are coloured.

But good thing about this is that if you stop thinking a particular way, and start thinking a different way, you can alter the neural pathways and simply change your thinking! Though yeah, its not as simple as it sounds. So, I guess, its possible to change my thinking, and not become infatuated habitually. Let's see if I can implement it in practice. Though I still haven't answered to myself the question - why do I have to stop it? As of now, I don't wish to attempt to answer this question...because its quite complicated. :-)

A time to every purpose

"To everything there is a season
And a time to every purpose under heaven...
...a time to gain, a time to lose
...a time to laugh, a time to weep
...a time to build up, a time to break down"

- words of hope for even one who can't see light at the end of the tunnel and how fitting that it should come from the Bible

Baare Baare

Come to me, ye fountain of love
Come to me, my shining star
Those welcoming eyes, smiling lips
Can't be forgotten from even afar

The beauty in that shyness
leaves none else on par
Unable to fight off attraction
the heart gives up on this war



Film: Nagara Haavu (1972)
Singer: P.B. Srinivas
Lyrics: Vijaya Narasimha
Music: Vijaya Bhaskar
---------------------------------

Baare Baare Chendada cheluvina taare
Baare Baare Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Kannina sanneya swagata Mareyalaare
Chenduti Melina hoonage Mareyalaare

Andada hennina naachike mareyalaare
Mouna gouriya mohada kai bidalaare

Baree Baare
Chendada cheluvina tare
Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Baare Baare Chendada cheluvina tare
Baare Baare Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Kaibale naadada gunganu alisalaare
Maimana soluva mattanu mareyalaare

Roopasi rambheya sangava toreyalaare
Mouna gowriya mohada kai bidalaare

Baree Baare
Chendada cheluvina tare
Olavina chilumeya dhaare

Sometimes one can't help but wonder, if when the right person comes along, would one know him/her to be "the one" or would we be foolish enough not to recognize this.
Would we be sure whether we really like that person or not and how long would it take to realize this truth. Intuitively, one could say that to know that one likes a person shouldn't take any time at all!

But it was something a friend said that really clicked in my mind with that "Aha!" sound. Her marriage has just recently been fixed and she remarked during our discussion - "yeah, with him, it seemed so easy.." and I cant help but wonder that this must be the answer!

It must be so easy and straightforward (at least about liking the person part, not his/her family, job, location etc) that it would be self evident.

Have become such a hard-core drunkard of this drink called love
That I would require a really hard shot of it to ever get intoxicated again.
Perils of over-indulgence! :-)

Thoongatha vizhigal

Thoongatha vizhigal rendu from Agni Natchathiram (1988)

This is a duet. M is Male voice-over and F is Female voice-over

Thoongatha vizhigal rendu,
un thunai thedum nenjum ondru.
Sempoomanjam virithalum, paneerai thelithalum,
anandam enakedhu anbey nee iladha

F: A pair of sleepless eyes and
One heart that yearns for you,
Even the fresh dew on blossomed lily
Can't bring any joy without you

Mamarai ilai mele, margazhi pani pole
Poomagal madimeedhu naan thoongavo
Rathiri pagalaagu, orupodhu vilagaamal
Rajanai kaiyendhi thalatavo
Naalum naalum raagam thalam
Serum nerum theerum bharam

M: Like the dew drop on a mango leaf
Shall I rest this night on your lap thus?

F: The entire night, till dawn breaks
I will cherish you close to my heart thus

M: My desires have now been raised to such a pitch
The only relief would be lasting union with you

Aalilai sivapaagu angamum nerupaaga
Noolidai kothipperum nilai enavo
Aadhiyum puriyaamal andhamum theriyaamal
Kadhalil arangkerum kadhai alavo

F: Why does the body feel so burning hot
As if some fever courses through every nerve

M: Such is the story of love, we enter it
Heedless of which way our Fate shall swerve

Madhulam kaniyada, malaradu, kodiyadu
Marudham uravaada kalai enavo
Vaalibham thadumaarum orubodhai thalaikerum
Varthaiyil vilangaathu suvailavo
Maelum maelum mogham koodum
Dhaegham yaavum geetham paadum

F: Is it an unstoppable gale, that sweeps away
Everything beautiful with unbridled passion

M: Its that which intoxicates one with youthful ardor
Yet flows out in clear poetical expression

An instrument at its mercy
Thus it makes the body sing
Raising to such feverish pitch
Striking every single string.

A lady, in her wanderings, came across a seashore on one pleasant night. As she gazed across the sea she could see the lights from ships anchored in the distance. Those flickering lights made her yearn for them. As she restlessly walked on, she picked up pebbles and started tossing them into the sea. It was almost like her way of reaching out to the distant lights, which seemed so close and yet were so far, yet so tempting. How long she threw pebbles into the sea, she knew not, nor she knew how many but late into the night, she was still occupied by this. Somewhere along the way she drifted to sleep and woke up next morning to first ray of dawn, but it seem that all around her things were sparkling. It was as if she was not sleeping on sand, but on a bed of light. She looked around nonplussed and gasped in shock and wonder - all around her, here and there on the sand, were pieces of diamond strewn across the breadth of the beach. They were beside her, close to her, as they were all night long - but its only in the light of day could she see their worth - the diamonds that she took to be pebbles and had tossed into the sea. And when she looked up, to see the ship that had obsessed her, she could not find it into the horizon in any direction. The lady was fortunate to have the benefit of light before she exhausted the beach and her life of all the diamonds that were there. But for most of us the light has to come from within, letting us know the true worth of what we have, the good things that are near to us - which we consider worthless.

I have failed many times in life in all aspects.
But I am happy that it has given me some learnings.
Yes, it has given me bitterness at heart, disillusionment, and cynicism - which may drag me down. But all of this is hugely compensated by having that one realization - that to be truly successful in the long run (and which means truly happy), one has to be a good, kind human being - sincerely care about the people around you and love unconditionally. The greatest gift of God is the gift of love.
I am still way far from putting this into action, from being such a person - but at least realization is the first step.