The Maidenly Man

Statutory Warning: If you believe in propriety and decorum, you may not like to read the following :D

It all started with a frnd of mine sending me the following mail titled:
Women Superiority: have fun guys ;)

We got off the Titanic first.

We can scare male bosses with mysterious gynecological disorder excuses.

When we buy a vibrator it is glamorous. When men buy a blow up doll
it's pathetic.

Men's clothes make women look elfin and gorgeous. Men look like
complete idiots in women's clothes.

We've never lusted after a cartoon character or the central figure in
a computer game.

Taxi's stop for us.

Men die earlier, so we get to cash in on the life insurance.

We don't look like a frog in a blender when dancing.

We know the Truth about whether or not size matters.

It's possible to live our whole lives without ever taking a group shower.

We don't have to fart to amuse ourselves.

We never have to wonder if his orgasm was real.

Needless to specify her gender :) ..Then we exchanged a series of mails and soon found ourselves discussing about this new age India where according to me in guy-gal relationships, especially in marriage, a new situation has crept in- experienced girl vs inexperienced (inept?) guy.

My frnd had certain disagreements about it so I presented to her a sample situation of a wedding night which can be a possibility in this new age urban millieu.

I am presenting hereby an unedited version of what I sent to her

scene - inside a bedroom...the bed is decked with flowers and there are garlands hanging down from a canopy...mellow light to add to the ambience....the bride is lazily lounging on the bed...her arms under her head and one leg crossed over another with a wry expression on her face...thinking if this chap who is abt to come in is goin to be any good enuf

there is noise outside as the door is opened and the guy is pushed inside by his giggling friends...he comes in shy and a bit wary...the girl crooks up her eyebrows giving him an appraising glance but stay as she is....the guy is intimidated

girl: Oh at last you have come, huh
guy(shyly): ya
girl: what took you so long.
guy: I..
girl (cutting him abruptly): now see that glass of milk over there
guy, looking thirstily at that...he reaches out to it
guy: but it is cold
girl: of course its bcos you took so long, duffer...now I will have to drink cold milk, thankfully today I do feel like having cold milk.. otherwise I wud have blown the living daylights of you...its so hot in here and you have not even arranged for an AC
guy: Sorry, that slipped out of my mind
the thing was in dealing with relatives, the wedding organizers, the hotel and everyone else, he was weary more than he was wary.
girl: beware nothing else slips...else u will find ur life slippery, okay...now when will u bring that glass over here...and I cud do with a massage of my legs, oooh they ache so much
guy: massage ur legs
girl: duffer, havent u ever massaged a girl bfr...thats the best way to arouse her and go higher and higher, taking her higher and higher
guy: no..er I havent
girl: u havent :O ... u mean some girl let u get away that easily
guy (confused): get away with what
girl (as if something at last dawned upon her): DONT TELL ME YOU HAVE NEVER BEEN WITH A GIRL...YOU ARE A FUCKING VIRGIN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
guy (smiling): fucking and virgin...thats seems like an Antithesis (he was somewhat of a scholar...but obviously not scholarly in the areas his new wife preferred)
girl: Anti thesis...whatever that means?? dont put on ur Phd airs over here okay...you have done no fucking thesis on fucking and I am not gonna have you slobber over me like some jerk...come and massage me first and then we will see if u r any good with this
...hey bring that milk also will u, stupid BOZO

So the Phd scholar on his wedding night started with a new apprenticeship under this new age mistress

My friend had certain disagreements and so she gave me a point to point rebuttal

1. Guy waits for the girl atleast in tamil movies.. havent seen in reality

2. Girl is too scared.. umm too out of place to be so rude..

3. No one does it on their first day unless its love marriage.. or its
a rape....

4. Make sure to check the girl for AIDS :D :D

5. Girls cant get experience without guys getting it.. umm besides...
guys dunno anything abt how to make a girl happy.. so even if the girl
is exp.. chances are she never orgasmed so technically she still is
clean state

6. If you are worried about consequences.. umm look for married
aunties.. they would be more than eager to teach u how :P :P


To conclude, allow me to share an anecdote (courtesy my good friend who participated in the discussion above)

A priest offered a Nun a lift.

She got in and crossed her legs, forcing her gown to reveal a leg.

The priest nearly had an accident.

After controlling the car, he stealthily slid his hand up her leg.

The nun said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest removed his hand. But, changing gears, he let his hand
slide up her leg again.

The nun once again said, 'Father, remember Psalm 129?'

The priest apologized 'Sorry sister but the flesh is weak.'

Arriving at the convent, the nun sighed heavily and went on her way.

On his arrival at the church, the priest rushed to look up Psalm 129.
It said, 'Go forth and seek, further up, you will find glory.'

Moral of the story
If you are not well informed in your job, you might miss a great opportunity.

Well this anecdote summarizes the typically sad situation of this age - most guys are not good at their job and most women confuse the matter further