This feeling that I have from within that I am not complete, that I am not whole, that something is missing, that I am not able to feel compassion, yet I want compassion for the pain I feel – why does this happen. Why do I feel inadequate, why do I feel my achievements are meaningless, why is my self-esteem so low, why does it always require a boost of glucose (literally) to prop it up – it feels so hollow inside. There has to be some sense to this – there has to be some way out. I want to feel happiness, calmness, serene pleasure – if not forever at least occasionally borne out of meaningful achievements.